Unknown Number Read online

  (14:27) It wasn't.

  (14:28) Is that why you're being so bitchy?

  (14:30) I'm not being bitchy. I'm bruised and tired.

  (14:31) Have you taken painkillers?

  (14:32) No shit, Sherlock.

  (14:33) Somehow I sense you're not enjoying talking right now.

  (14:36) Really? What gave it away?

  (14:37) A few things.

  (14:38) Your text tone.

  (14:39) Your swearing.

  (14:40) Kid, just shut the fuck up okay? My head is about to implode, and I can barely focus.

  (14:41) Sorry … I was kidding …

  (14:56) I know.

  (14:57) I don't get hang-overs often. You've just caught me at a bad time.

  (14:58) Maybe you should have a shower?

  (14:59) Or a nap?

  (15:01) Maybe I will.

  (15:03) Okay well I hope it helps to clear your head.

  (15:07) Same.

  ~0~

  (17:29) Sorry about earlier.

  (17:34) Mmm that is a nice way to wake up. Hello to you too.

  (17:35) You were napping? It's a Saturday afternoon.

  (17:36) So what?

  (17:37) I had nothing else to do today with this weather. Gonna have a movie night later but that's about it.

  (17:39) What movies?

  (17:40) AGE OF ULTRON, and THE PROPOSAL.

  (17:41) Those two don't really go together.

  (17:43) I know. I picked one and my sister picked the other.

  (17:45) What about your parents? They with you guys tonight?

  (17:46) Dude, you sound so creepy!

  (17:47) Why are you always asking if I'm alone?

  (17:48) Well, one of us needs to be responsible.

  (17:49) And … that needs to be you?

  (17:50) Why?

  (17:52) The police always check the phones.

  (17:53) Considering you and I have already discussed murder I could be held accountable.

  (17:54) I'm sure the police would have more leads than your number on my phone.

  (17:55) I doubt it.

  (17:56) I'm a very clean person.

  (17:57) I'd be like DEXTER.

  (18:00) That's … both chilling and impressive.

  (18:01) If it's true.

  (18:02) Oh, it's true.

  (18:04) I very nearly said 'prove it' until I realised what that would mean.

  (18:05) Oh for fucks sake.

  (18:06) What?

  (18:07) You just had to do it, didn't you?

  (18:08) I'm sorry! What did I do?

  (18:09) You made me smile.

  (18:11) … That's bad because?

  (18:12) I'm fighting a hangover. I can hear my skin!

  (18:13) I'm going to have my lips in a sling for a week.

  (18:15) Not a smiler then?

  (18:17) What do you think, brat?

  (18:18) What IS it with you and name-calling?

  (18:20) Your reactions are funny.

  (18:21) Arsehole.

  (18:22) Classic.

  (18:26) Ah, my sister's calling me. The pizzas here and she wants to start early.

  (18:28) Okay, kid. Have fun being baby-sat.

  (18:29) HEY! How do you know I'M not older?

  (18:30) That.

  (18:31) Douche.

  (18:32) Brat.

  ~

  (19:15) Did you ever notice that the Hulk is just like a big baby without his bottle?

  (19:17) Are you seriously texting me while watching a movie with your sister?

  (19:18) Maybe?

  (19:19) But seriously? Have you not noticed that?

  (19:20) Can't say that I have.

  (19:21) Like … a big GREEN baby.

  (19:23) Watch your movie, kid.

  ~

  (21:12) I really don't get the premise of this movie.

  (21:15) A pushy boss forces her young assistant to marry her in order to keep her visa status in the U.S. and avoid deportation to Canada.

  (21:17) …

  (21:18) I can use Google too.

  (21:19) Sure you can, kid.

  ~

  (23:48) There's nothing worse that turning off two movies and going back to regular, shitty TV.

  (23:49) Buy a new one then.

  (23:50) Huh?

  (23:51) No, the TV isn't shitty. The show's are.

  (23:52) Same thing.

  (23:53) It really isn't.

  (23:54) Shouldn't you be in bed?

  (23:55) Shouldn't you?

  (23:57) I am in bed. I was reading.

  (23:58) Oh, shit. Sorry.

  (23:58) What're you reading?

  (00:00) A Handmaids Tale.

  (00:01) For school or …?

  (00:03) Yeah, school.

  (00:05) Well, it must be a really boring book 'cause I'm yawning from all the way over here.

  (00:07) I feel sorry for your teachers.

  (00:09) Yeah you probably should. I'm a bit of a shit.

  (00:11) Trust me. I know.

  (00:13) Anyways, I'm gonna head to bed. TTYL Murderer.

  (00:15) Try not to die, Brat.

  Sunday AM

  (9:03) So did you ever notice that you're talking to a complete strange and you have no clue who I am.

  (9:04) Or where I am.

  (9:05) Or how old I am.

  (9:13) Whyyyyyyyy

  (9:16) Did I wake you?

  (9:18) Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

  (9:23) This is not a time of day.

  (9:25) It's daylight hours, kid. That means you should be awake.

  (9:26) But it's a Sunday.

  (9:28) What does that have to do with anything?

  (9:32) I was asleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

  (9:33) Clearly.

  (9:35) Douche.

  (9:36) Why're you awake anyway on a SUNDAY?

  (9:42) I just got in from my jog.

  (9:43) So you woke me up to tell me that? You're an arsehole.

  (9:45) A popular nickname of mine. I've grown immune to that one.

  (9:47) … Poo.

  (9:53) Are you … Are you SULKING?

  (9:54) Ha! Knew you were a bratty little kid!

  (9:55) Says the douche who can't handle his drink.

  (9:57) I can handle it just fine.

  (9:58) Scroll up.

  (10:04) Ah.

  (10:04) Fuck. Forgot about that. Usually I'm harassing Eleanor.

  (10:05) Eleanor?

  (10:06) A … friend.

  (10:07) Well … more like an eager acquaintance.

  (10:08) Well … more like a rash that won't go away.

  (10:09) This is how you talk about your friends?

  (10:11) What?

  (10:13) It's just … kindda harsh.

  (10:15) So? I don't like people.

  (10:18) I'm getting that impression.

  (10:19) So why're you still talking to me?

  (10:21) Yeah you're right.

  (10:22) Oh well. It was nice while it lasted. Bye.

  (10:24) NO WAIT! I WAS KIDDING!

  (10:29) Dude?

  (10:31) Murderer?

  (10:36) Oh, come on!

  ~

  (12:15) Okay, if this some lame sort of revenge it sucks!

  (12:17) You're actually the worst.

  ~

  (14:03) I've been looking into all these old crime files online and you're right. Murder seems so hard to get away with.

  (14:06) Like … Even pre-emptive stuff gets found out through strange means.

  (14:10) Suddenly making sense why so many people would burn off their fingerprints to disappear.

  ~

  (16:12) 9 messages? Really?

  (16:18) Oh hey! You're not dead!

  (16:20) That remains to be seen.

  (16:21) So, why the PMSing?

  (16:25) You rudely disappeared after waking me up AT THE ARSECRACK OF DAWN so yes, I'm gonna friggin' PMS.

  (16:29) Hahaha jeez kid. You can't be THAT bored that I'
m good company?

  (16:32) So what if I am? What were you doing anyway that I didn't get all of your glorious attention, Oh, amazing one!

  (16:45) I was helping a friend move in with her boyfriend, who happens to live just down the hall from me. They've been going out for years and she finally got a transfer here, so that's good. They used to live together further North so I'm happy for them.

  (16:50) You have friends?

  (16:52) Don't be a little shithead. Of course, I have friends.

  (16:56) Sorry couldn't resist. So now that she's moved-in does this mean you'll have more reasons to be sociable?

  (17:02) Maybe. We'll see. I have been invited to theirs for a take-away tonight. Bonnie insists we won't be up late, seeing as well have work in the morning.

  (17:03) Bonnie is the girlfriend?

  (17:04) Yes. Fletcher is my friend. They've been dating forever.

  (17:06) So where's your missus, then, Mr. Murderer?

  (17:07) Ha! Not even subtle eh?

  (17:08) Of course not.

  (17:10) Like I've said many times, I'm not a people person.

  (17:11) So you're single?

  (17:13) Yes, kid, I'm single.

  (17:16) I guess that makes sense. We have been texting a lot. I guess if you were in a relationship, there'd have been a lot more silence on your end.

  (17:19) Well look at that. A braincell. I was starting to think I'd need to send out a search party.

  (17:22) You're so SURE I'm just a dumb kid.

  (17:23) You've hardly proven me wrong.

  (17:26) But …but come on!

  (17:46) Whining. Yes. Way to prove me wrong.

  (17:47) Well I'm glad I didn't hold my breath for you!

  (17:51) Has anyone every told you, you have no boundaries?

  (17:52) Yes.

  (17:53) More than once actually.

  (17:54) Hmm. Could it be me?

  (17:58) Well that's something to think about.

  (18:01) Well I'm off down the hall. Try to be productive and maybe finish your damn homework?

  (18:02) Yeah right. Sure thing MUM!

  (18:03) HAVE FUN!

  Chapter 2

  Monday AM

  (11:34) I’ve decided that when I become an evil dictator I will personally imprison all math’s teachers and have them try and solve Hilbert’s problems to enter general society to be eligible to eat, have a job (not teaching) and live a relatively normal life.

  (11:39) OR Taniyama’s problems, since there’s more. Either way, that shit it hardcore!

  (11:47) Don’t you have school?

  (11:49) Don’t you have work?

  (11:52) I’m at work.

  (11:57) I’m at school.

  (11:59) So what’s your name?

  (12:00) Sorry kid, lunchtime.

  (12:01) Git.

  ~

  (13:04) So what’s your name?

  (13:07) Not happening.

  (13:09) Please? I literally have you in my phone right now as ‘MY KILLER?’

  (13:13) Sounds like a fairly good name to me.

  (13:18) What am I in your phone?

  (13:19) Oh GOD it’s embarrassing isn’t it?

  (13:24) It’s not that embarrassing. I’m curious to see what you think you’re under, though.

  (13:29) You’re deflecting.

  (13:34) I’m busy. You know, work.

  (13:36) Fine. Gender, then? Female? Male? Both? Neither? Breadstick?

  (13:38) Breadstick?

  (13:42) Why do you want to know anyway?

  (13:45) Just trying to understand my potential murderer. The police would get a whole profile just by the way you kill me, so I think I deserve SOME sadistic back-story.

  (13:46) Couldn’t I just lie then?

  (13:48) Well, now you’re just spoiling my fun.

  (13:52) Fine. I’m a man.

  ~

  (13:59) So NOW you stop replying?

  ~

  (14:05) Fine.

  Monday PM

  (16:09) Sorry! Something came up!

  (17:30) I’m sure.

  (17:31) It did!

  (17:32) Did you get your phone taken off you?

  (17:33) Sort of.